At times you make alliances and partnerships for either friendship, working together or both, does it stop there? What do you do when you are shut out?
Have you ever come across the situation where all of a sudden, you see that a person has started going through your contact list and decided to approach them directly?
Does this matter or is it a form of a back-handed compliment?
In business (especially in today’s age), with things moving at such a rapid pace in turns of development and growth within the Business Community, you can’t always keep up with what is going on. Thus, your “little black book” of connections is something you cherish. However, with the likes of About Me, Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, Twitter and Xing, to name but a few of the many online networks that exist, your “little black book” enters the Public Domain and thus allows people to circumnavigate you, cutting you out and allowing people to go directly to your connections/contacts. the question is, what can you do? Can you do anything?
We all are fully aware of what we say “on-line” becomes part of our Digital Footprint – so is this something we just have to sit back and accept? Unfortunately, I feel and think this is, but is there a solution?
In many cases, the solution sorts itself out, as that person making contact with your connection, doesn’t understand what your relationship is with your connection, what you are discussing and the conversations that have taken place. That person trying to step into your relationship most often doesn’t get very far as your connection advises that the topic is off-limits or plainly refuses to get involved. And thus, that attempted relationship comes shirt sharp end.
The other way, is to make sure you do what you do best and how that relationship came about, make yourself the “King Pin” of the relationship. Whilst we all may want to go ‘all in’ and show what you can do, offer and produce together, the best way forward to work with your connection is in small steps……..
“if we do this – where will it lead“, “doing things this way, we can achieve…” or “how about us taking things we have discussed, go away and come back next time with an agenda moving ahead“……any of these three points (or others you may think of), all contribute to laying the foundations of a successful, long-term partnership with your connection. Once this path is started, your connection will know that you have that “little black book” which will be key to your partnership forging ahead. As the old saying goes, “slowly, slowly, catchy monkey…..” – by introducing things slowly into the discussions or conversations with your connections, you are creating the opportunity of discussing your “little black book” and casually finding out if any of your connections have approached them directly.
Is this sneaky?
Actually by finding out how things are going, if they have new projects on the go, have they received new approaches, actually really helps you and further cements your relationship together. If one of your “little black book” entries has made contact with your connection directly, you can easily find out what they think of them. You could then ask them for feedback and this makes you realise whether they should remain an entry or be removed from your “little black book”. Your connection has just given you feedback which will make you think as to whether you can recommend that person to someone else…
The latter approach enables you to decide whether they are someone you can trust, endorse and recommend – after all, when you pass someone the details of one of your connections, it is your reputation that is also on the line….
Someone taking your contacts, is not damaging you but causing themselves damage by losing you as someone as influential as yourself and could have just cost them many future rewards……
Afterall, the person trying to get in front of your connection by by-passing you actually realises (without admitting it), that they really need your help, which only proves one thing that they can’t be prepared to admit, and that is they find you…………
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